If I'm Comfortable, Why Aren't You?
From the time a woman is born, she’s told how to walk, how to talk, how to sit, smile, eat, behave, and even breathe. Society whispers rules into her ears: be polite, be gentle, don’t talk too much, don’t talk to too many men, sit properly, dress “modestly,” smile but not too much, be pretty but not “easy.”
Why does the world get so uncomfortable when a woman is comfortable in her own skin?
If she chooses to wear sleeveless, she’s judged. If her body is visible, people assume she’s asking for attention. If she talks to men freely, she’s labelled. If she wears makeup, she’s called “fake.” If she doesn’t, she’s deemed “unattractive.” When she’s slim, she’s told to “put on some weight,” and when she’s curvy, she’s told to “lose some.” It never ends.
Let me say this clearly, being comfortable in your body, your choices, your clothes, your weight, and your way of speaking or not speaking is your right. You don’t need to shrink for anyone’s comfort. You don’t need to fit into a mold that was never meant for you.
Confidence doesn’t mean fitting into an ideal. It means being able to say, “I’m happy with who I am.” Yet, society continues to break that confidence with subtle, constant digs.
“You don’t have selection.”
“You’re not fair enough.”
“You’ll never get noticed like that.”
“You shouldn’t wear that with your body type.”
“You’re too loud.”
“You’re too shy.”
“You post too many selfies.”
“You don’t post enough.”
“You’re too much.”
“You’re not enough.”
This isn’t just about clothing. It’s about control. It’s about telling people they don’t deserve to feel good unless someone else approves first.
Some women love wearing modern clothes, while others feel more themselves in traditional wear. Some prefer sleeveless, some don’t. Some wear makeup to express themselves, and others stay bare-faced. And guess what? All of it is valid if it comes from comfort and confidence, not pressure or fear.
Let’s be honest, men face judgement too. Just because this blog focuses on women doesn’t mean men don’t suffer under the weight of expectations. They’re told how to dress, how to speak, how to earn, and how to hide their emotions. That pain is real as well.
This idea that we must all look or act a certain way to be “acceptable” is cruel and exhausting.
Let people live. Let them slay in what they feel good in, whether that’s a crop top or a kurta, sneakers or heels, bold lipstick or a bare face. If someone is feeding their body right, moving it, respecting it, and choosing joy, why should they owe anyone an explanation?
Improvement should never be forced. It should come from love, not shame. If you want to say something helpful, try: “You look beautiful, and if you ever want to try something new, I’ve got ideas.” Not: “You’d look better if…”
People don’t need fixing. They need space.
Here’s the truth: if I’m comfortable and not harming you, your opinion isn’t required.
Confidence is a quiet rebellion, and comfort is a power move.
If I love how I look and how I feel, why does it threaten you?
Maybe it’s not about me. Maybe the real problem is that I no longer need your approval to feel enough.
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